Football isn’t just a game—it’s a passion, a lifestyle, and sometimes… a comedy show! Whether you’re cheering from the stands, watching on TV, or arguing over the offside rule, laughter makes every match better. That’s why we’ve gathered the funniest football jokes 0ne liner for you.
These quick, witty, and family-friendly jokes are perfect for sharing at halftime, with your sports buddies, or even during those awkward VAR delays. Let’s kick off the laughter and score some smiles! ⚽😂
Funny Football Jokes 0ne Liner
Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their goalie back!
I told my friend I played football — he said, “Soccer?” I said, “No, properly!”
The football field is the only place where getting kicked is fun.
My football team and my phone have one thing in common — both lose signal when it matters most.
Referees don’t make mistakes… they just test your patience.
Football fans don’t cry — they leak passion through their eyes.
My favorite football move? The snack run during halftime.
Why did the football coach go to jail? He got caught passing on the inside.
My fitness tracker counts more steps when I yell at the TV.
The grass is always greener… especially after a goal celebration!
VAR: Very Annoying Replay.
Football — where players run miles just to score one smile.
Football Player Jokes 0ne Liner
Strikers are like Wi-Fi — strong signal upfront, but weak in defense.
I told the defender to chill — he said, “I can’t, I’m marking time.”
Goalkeepers have one job — and they still manage to save the day!
I asked a midfielder for directions — he just kept passing.
When a footballer retires, does he still get yellow cards for talking too much?
Every player has dreams — mine include a nap at halftime.
I’d play football professionally, but my snacks-to-fitness ratio disagrees.
The best defenders never run — they just exist where needed.
I told my coach I was tired — he said, “Then defend lying down.”
A striker’s worst nightmare? An empty net and too much confidence.
My coach said, “Be like Messi.” So I made a mess.
Wingers: proof that running in circles is a career.
Goalkeeper Jokes 0ne Liner
Goalkeepers are like magicians — they make goals disappear!
My favorite save? When the pizza delivery guy was late.
Goalies never panic — they just breathe heavily in HD.
I told my mom I wanted to be a keeper. She thought I meant a relationship.
Goalkeepers have trust issues — every kick feels personal.
I’m so good in goal, even my dreams are offside.
A clean sheet feels better than a clean room.
Why do goalkeepers love music? Because they’re always dropping beats.
Goalkeepers never lie — they just stretch the truth.
The ball said to the keeper, “You can’t stop me.” The keeper said, “Watch me!”
I’m not lazy; I’m just saving energy for the next penalty.
Goalkeepers: The only people who dive more than actors.
Referee Jokes 0ne Liner
Referees wear black because they bury your hopes.
I told the referee he was wrong — he gave me a card for honesty.
Every ref’s dream? To whistle in peace.
VAR stands for “Very Angry Referee.”
The referee’s favorite holiday? Red Card Day.
I asked a ref for directions — he still said I was offside.
The whistle is the only instrument refs can play perfectly wrong.
Referees: turning cheers into groans since forever.
When the ref smiles, someone’s crying.
My favorite part of the game? When the ref forgets his glasses.
I’m convinced referees are allergic to fair play.
The ref didn’t ruin the game — he just “reinterpreted” it.
Coach Jokes 0ne Liner
Coaches don’t age — they just collect more wrinkles of wisdom.
I told my coach I had potential — he said, “Use it before it expires.”
Every coach has a plan — until the first goal happens.
My coach said, “No excuses.” I said, “That’s my best excuse.”
Coaching is easy — until players start playing.
The coach’s favorite word? “Again!”
A good coach inspires; a great coach yells.
Our coach believes in fitness — mostly mental pain.
I told my coach I’m hungry — he said, “Feed on victory.”
Coaches and coffee — the undefeated duo.
If sarcasm burned calories, every coach would be ripped.
My coach doesn’t need caffeine — he runs on disappointment.
Fan Jokes 0ne Liner
Fans don’t get tired — just emotionally exhausted.
I cheer so loud, even the snacks applaud.
A true fan never leaves — unless there’s no Wi-Fi.
My heart beats faster during penalties than on a treadmill.
Fans: the unpaid emotional support staff of football.
I told my mom I was loyal — she said, “To your team, not your chores.”
Every fan knows the pain of “almost.”
We don’t cry — we just leak team spirit.
A fan’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions.
Football fans: the real athletes of emotion.
I once prayed for a win — now I just pray for extra time.
Supporting a team is like marriage — you suffer, but still show up.
Kids Football Jokes 0ne Liner
Why did the football bring a ladder? To reach new goals!
What’s a football’s favorite drink? Penalty-colada!
How does a ball say goodbye? “Catch you later!”
Why did the striker bring string? To tie the score!
What’s a footballer’s favorite music? Kick-pop!
Why did the kid bring a pillow to football? He wanted to score in his dreams!
What’s the goalkeeper’s favorite color? Goal-den!
Why did the football go to school? To improve its kick-knowledge!
The football team’s favorite subject? History — it’s full of goals!
What do you call a sleeping striker? A nap-forward!
What’s a football’s favorite joke? A good “pun-alty.”
Why did the football smile? Because it had a ball!
Classic Football Puns
Life’s a pitch — play on!
I’m not Messi, just misunderstood.
Keep calm and kick on.
Goal-getters never quit.
Kick it like laughter!
Score goals, not arguments.
You miss 100% of naps you don’t take.
Football — the reel life drama.
Kicks and giggles make the best matches.
Don’t just pass time — pass the ball.
Every goal has a story.
Play hard, laugh harder.
Conclusion
Football connects hearts, builds friendships, and fills weekends with drama — but above all, it gives us reasons to laugh. Whether it’s the players, refs, or fans, every moment of the game has humor hidden in it.
So next time your team misses a goal, don’t frown — share a football joke 0ne liner and keep the laughter rolling. Because at the end of the day, it’s not just about winning — it’s about smiling through every match! ⚽😄